This week – and for the last few weeks – my writing has been sidelined due to the house being still in recovery from being rebuilt which has led to me twiddling with Periscopes and Blabs and Web in Airs and all kinds of other folk’s content – most of whom are respected mentors of mine – but it has come to my notice that they are all affiliated to the same ‘launch’ mentor and so not only have I been deluged with his launch stuff from him – but from them as well – and it has been worked into every conceivable nook and cranny of every new bit of tech’ out there – great coverage – but it has just put me off totally.
Do I need to worry what the light looks like on a Persicope chat about old content threaded with ref’s to the other bloke’s launch – or the sound? Or twist my head to watch a sideways and upside down person grinning at me or Blab on about goodness knows what getting me to coment on their style and back ground while they polish their performance ?
I am the audience. I am the customer. I am not there just to send hearts to someone unknown – not if I ought to be creating my own writing – not if I have spent an hour trying to work out the international time difference – if someone wants to invent something useful a one click time converter that really is quick and easy would be cool…
I AM interested in tech’ and new ideas and the latest New Thing but the last six weeks all my mentors have been doing the SAME thing – I feel suckered.
I can’t always get a good BB signal, I can’t always ask questions – my screen doesn’t look like theirs. I feel plain left out at times and then when I do listen in I get more bumph advertising affiliate links and – yep – I get to feel suckered all over again.
I think all the above efforts have been fun – BUT – they have taught me some ‘just in time learning’ rather than the ‘just in case learning’ they were aiming to sell me at some future point when I had been softened up by such personalised and friendly emails – and that is – ‘If it looks like a sales pitch it is!’ Walk away and GET BACK TO WORK.
The horses and I have been stealing time from the on going ‘open house surgery’ and from the writing to get the now sheep-less barn horse friendly – new rubber mats and shavings, winter stores – and it is all able to stay in place without the prospect of hoiking it all elsewhere at lambing times.
Buddy has been on his new regime of going into the top pasture – Lisle’s Hill – alone now for over a month and he comes in for a good groom each evening on his way back to Kites Close to join the ponies for the night. He is starting to enjoy his grooming sessions and is significantly more relaxed in the barn alone now than he was last year.
I have now introduced another part to our routine in that he stands in the big pen while I skip out and then has his groom and tack up there and I ride back to the other field – this involves three gates to open and close and a set of barrels to play with and then in the mornings after field feed I saddle him and we do the same on the way back through to Lisle’s Hill.
I am not fit after a summer writing in 27 and being ‘on hand’ for the house stuff – he on the other hand looks blooming so this very slow intro is helping me get more bendy and encouraging us both to be relaxed and confident.
Roger is booked next Wed for a teeth check on all three – if there is any issue with Buds ‘implant’ I would rather know now before I really start to enjoy actually going for whole rides…
Rufus and Flax are also well and going through their ground work and games – Rufe is still too itchy with sweet itch to ride may be when it gets cooler and after we have moved back into the house…
It feels so good to be doing things with them again. HUGE grin on face.
Not really back to writing yet – am still involved with the house project and we have only 4 weeks to Mum Move Back Day and there is a lot to be done – right now at first glance it looks impossible – despite all the hard work – but each day it changes so I am sure we will get it done – we have time.
Husband and I JCB’d the garden and it is now hedgeless and weedless – a huge open space – it needed re fencing any way – but it triggered the thought in me that the house has changed beyond being recognisably My Home, my sheep flock has gone, my garden that I made out of the field when we first came here has returned to the field – it is as if I was never here – almost.
The orchard is in full fruit mode – heavy and expectant, the apples starting to blush and the pears fill – the plums and damsons have already ‘gone over’ – we moved into 27 as the orchard sprang to life this Spring and I have watched my trees bloom and grow and the sun rise through it every morning – so different to be surrounded by trees for me. Going back to ‘the other side’ of house, garden and farm is a shock to the system – open with endless views and stark with changes I can’t stop now and that haven’t yet produced a new space to call home.
When I planted that orchard I never thought how glad I would be of it’s shelter and protection and comfort or that it might serve to remind me I have been here a while – and though we only ever scratch the surface in the time we have on earth this need to have roots is elemental to us all – to how we see ourselves and others see us. Farmer. Local. Refugee. Outcast.
If the shelter of even a familiar tree makes me feel at home in time and space – how bad must it be to see not a familiar stone or face and have no welcoming place?