Askers Judge AKA Buddy was PTS  this morning, in the sunshine, under the ash trees, in site of the view that was his home his entire life. Run free my friend . We are all going to miss you.

These decisions are the hardest things. Some things make it easier – age or acute trauma – with Bud that was not the case. I have had to take this responsible desision due to Bud’s seasonal allergy problem which rendered him dangerous to himself, for myself to handle and to the other ponies to be around as he staggered, thrown off balance, by the uncontrolable, violent rinitus flicking his head wildly or striking with his front feet at his head.

There is little care or treatment at the moment that is available – even to an insured horse – which Bud was not. I knew I  had to decide if Bud’s suffering and the likelyhood of accident – this year and the years to come – outweighed the desire to stick him in the field and wait it out – when it was an unknown – and within the period of time it was accute – there were peaks and troughs of difficulty sufficient that at one point I rode out on a happy Bud only to have it flare up and find ourselves in trouble on the road and resuting in bruising to me – when he shoved me into a tree. And then I saw that light rain set it off as it touched his face – he had already becme intollerent of a head collar – it is not practically possible to say that you never have to handle a horse – there is daily foot care for a start and then the Farrier has a right to be reasonably safe.

You might ask – has this happened before? Yes every year since I have had him – I have known him all his life – he hasn’t been ridden much in the spring and the symptoms were written of as ‘sensative to flies’ – rugs and masks and a cool shed were provided – it was only this spring I realised there were no flies when it started an It would be back next year.

Horses that are ‘head shakers’ – seasonal ones – often change hands in the winter – sold to unsuspecting souls. It was suggested I pass Bud on else where too – this is not how I operate. I would never knowingly pass on a sick animal to anyone else and in this case it wasn’t even like a ‘sometimes’ arthriticy horse, who could have pain management, and given, it seems, most native hedge and tree pollens were causing the problem –  the cost of finding out which, an absurdity – I found the suggestion abhorrent. There is also the legality of  loaning or selling a horse that is this unpredictable – how ever nice the horse is the rest of the time. There is the potential for the horse to injure people, property, and it’s self – who is responsible? All this also is aside to the fact Bud has lived in ths area his whole life and is settled here with us – and we care about his quality of life.

Then there is the Old Ginge senario ( Black Beauty) The beautiful animal passed on and on and on to a very unpleasant end. I can not do that to any of my horses – I have never done so and never will.

So, courage has to be found to stand up, in the face of other peoples comments and opinions,  to do the responsible thing. The people who know me best stand with me and those  who tut and cluck may remember they didn’t visit, they didn’t see, and their scruples are their own.

Life goes on, of course, Flax is bereft of a good friend and sharer of the view and Rufus – well, who knows  that Rufus thinks – but one of his herd went down and that’s probably not something he is happy about either.

For me? I will ride on and I will write on – and in my books and stories Buddy will live on, forever the free-striding bay  pausing, mid mouthful, to look at his view.