Can’t do more – signed the forms and sent them off… feel the tension going – not because it is a done deal but because it’s a goal achieved and I can do no more. So I go on again.
Been playing with the the goal setting department on Parrelli Connect again – keeping it low key – system goal to be safe etc (!) and a custom goal to get Bud off the farm twice a week and extended the time on the working through the level 1 on line stuff. Everything here has ground to a halt the last month especially as we tried and failed to get at least my mum back in the house by the 2nd week of Oct. The fact is now at SOME point in the next four weeks that house will be liveable but I still have to paint the entire place from bare plaster up and do soft furniture and furniture etc – haven’t been setting my writing goals and daily word counts on my typing due to having to clear the table for meals now Mum is in 27 with me – I am doing web based promo and blogging and attending learning experiences when the BB allows but my whole ‘goal centric life’ has crashed.
I cannot set goals for the house because they are not mine to control and even with the horse goal I have just set I have to prioritise the needs of the workmen on the house and facilitate them getting in when they need to and despite them being very good I still need to be here at – there has been no stage in this whole project where I could be away from it actually which has been very tiring and hasn’t even guaranteed that jobs haven’t sometimes still had to be done again!
I had a second A4 note book to type Aug – Now which hasn’t been done for one of the Q series books – I have already moved the deadline on that – I would like to get it typed by new year but it needs undisturbed space to leave it out and me turning up to do it for several hours a day and head space to stay ‘with it’ when I am interrupted as bumping in and out of ‘story mode’ is actually painful. I have to be ready to stop everything and suddenly do something to get us back in the house – what ever it is and when ever an opportunity arises – that has to be priority but the horse goals and writing goals are not going to sit with that very well – horse goals will be weather bound as well – though that frees me to write.
IT may end up being house – write OR ride depending on weather. But from Bud’s POV that isn’t what he needs to be safe out and about…. hard one this am to think through. 🙂
It IS a bit lighter in the mornings which means working on my fitness by going for a run early when doing hay IS possible without be tripping over in the dark and that would help everything else – it just doesn’t appeal! I know once I get back into it I will get a buzz from it which will make motivation but right now the ‘taking action’ bit is evading me…
Obviously I am a Work In Progress on all fronts today! :0