Been playing with the the goal setting department on Parrelli Connect again – keeping it low key – system goal to be safe etc (!) and a custom goal to get Bud off the farm twice a week and extended the time on the working through the level 1 on line stuff. Everything here has ground to a halt the last month especially as we tried and failed to get at least my mum back in the house by the 2nd week of Oct. The fact is now at SOME point in the next four weeks that house will be liveable but I still have to paint the entire place from bare plaster up and do soft furniture and furniture etc – haven’t been setting my writing goals and daily word counts on my typing due to having to clear the table for meals now Mum is in 27 with me – I am doing web based promo and blogging and attending learning experiences when the BB allows but my whole ‘goal centric life’ has crashed.
I cannot set goals for the house because they are not mine to control and even with the horse goal I have just set I have to prioritise the needs of the workmen on the house and facilitate them getting in when they need to and despite them being very good I still need to be here at – there has been no stage in this whole project where I could be away from it actually which has been very tiring and hasn’t even guaranteed that jobs haven’t sometimes still had to be done again!
I had a second A4 note book to type Aug – Now which hasn’t been done for one of the Q series  books – I have already moved the deadline on that – I would like to get it typed by new year but it needs undisturbed space to leave it out and me turning up to do it for several hours a day and head space to stay ‘with it’ when I am interrupted as bumping in and out of ‘story mode’ is actually painful. I have to be ready to stop everything and suddenly do something to get us back in the house – what ever it is and when ever an opportunity arises – that has to be priority but the horse goals and writing goals are not going to sit with that very well – horse goals will be weather bound as well – though that frees me to write.

IT may end up being house – write OR ride depending on weather. But from Bud’s POV that isn’t what he needs to be safe out and about…. hard one this am to think through. 🙂 

It IS a bit lighter in the mornings which means working on my fitness by going for a run early when doing hay IS possible without be tripping over  in the dark and that would help everything else  – it just doesn’t appeal! I know once I get back into it  I will get a buzz from it which will make motivation but right now the ‘taking action’ bit is evading me…

Obviously I am a Work In Progress on all fronts today! :0



‘Mommie’s Ho – ome…’

I have no doubt that this will be so!

I suspect my Writing Week will consist of little more than endless rewrites of To Do lists and To Do To lists which obviously may involve wax and pins if we haven’t managed to get The House out of Recovery and it isn’t breathing on it’s own – or She Who Is Returning doesn’t have floor boards in her room still.

I am taking the cowards way out and writing this a head of time  – despite my dislike of all things automated – because then I will be looking forward to the next week and getting back to work.

I am always optimistic – and I have seen a bean bag chair that will ‘just go’ in my new writing cell and may by the time this posts I will have recovered from the white paint ‘snow blindness’ I suspect I am about to be inflicted with.


Mixed Bag Of Take Out…

I read a lot of what might be called Happy Clappy Mumbo Jumbo  – it keeps me semi sane and stops me boring the backsides off my neighbours and friends when I am having a Bad Day.
The joy of the internet is now that you can sign up for all kinds of Mumbo Jumbo stuff  free  or other wise – Yummy – It is better than chocolate and cheers me up and isn’t fattening – sometimes it even gets me off my arse and back to the writing or out side to run or ride.

There are some lovely kind people Out There.

They are often incredibly generous with their ‘Free Stuff’ and in exchange for an email contact usually provide a magazine of delight to pass the coffee break with or to get me running with gusto after my obligatory 2 x treble shots of caffeine on rising  – so I don’t smoke – but I am not a saint.
I have read stuff from folks all over the world, chatted to them and joined their groups for a few hours or a few days – or taken up residence and rented space.

I am quite happy joining in and Having A Go.

But  I wish The Marketeers on line would work out that the common type of launch process is getting boring and that automated and outsourced stuff and staff and over delegation deadens the user experience.
When I need a shoulder to lean on and I pick up a Happy Clappy Book I know it is a book – if you choose an on line source of inspiration, kindness and friendship – community even – it is fairly rough when you work out it is an auto responder that just called you a ‘Gorgeous Chick’ and that your series of welcoming and warm emails are pre programmed to draw you deeper, depending on your preferences, whilst rifling your wallet and trading on your misery.
If I am starting to notice this then it IS time for a change…

Hot Rox or C Weed?

It is a bit like lying on a massage table blindfold and wondering  … because with coaching, support, mentoring and spiritual guidance you are baring more than your back side – you may even be baring your soul – to all and some of that may come back and bite you.

My Take Out Recipe?

Stick to the free stuff and put your credit card out of reach before you start to get drawn in by the seduction of a launch you may not notice is aiming for you – when you are vulnerable spending money on rubbish is worse than eating too much chocolate and can do you a great deal more harm.
Any thing that makes you feel good can be addictive – even things you don’t ingest.

Trust me

 You can do this if you just take the next step – just do something towards your dream – think how much you can achieve without spending another penny or wasting another second…I could even finish the series I am writing.

Little Bit Of Heaven.

Amidst the craziness of living next to a building site – my once and future home – while now living and working in a mobile home – is the fact that the situation is pure Heaven – perched in my orchard next to the horses’ summer field and yesterday I took my desk out side and worked with the horses all day- me writing and them getting on with being horses.

The sky was intensely blue and the’ greens’ this side of the farm still intensely green – the bleached out tips of long grass on the old fort on the horizon cannot be seen from here, neither can the ripening wheat and the start of harvest. Here it is green and blue.

Husband prepared Ghost for the show this weekend – washing and polishing and all the usual pre show stuff – only advantage of showing trucks is no plaiting! Hoof oil is replaced by ‘Tyre Black’ – really:) But they still park in lines and sit next to them and then go for a trot up before the judge in the main ring. It is all huge fun and I kinda wish I was going – but I don’t like ‘visiting’ – go for whole weekend and join in is one thing but to ‘drop in’ feels naff…

They left and the stock, horses, dogs and I settled down to what I HOPE will be a peaceful weekend to write – and between you guys and I – I might get Buddy in tomorrow and ride. I will get the tack out for a check over today and if it doesn’t get too hot  give his mane and tail a brush and get him out on a rope to play- then see what tomorrow brings…

It is probably Buddy’s and mine anniversary weekend come to think of it, I must have had him a year exactly – having said I wouldn’t get another one – and he and I are the most unlikely pairing of the small writer and the tall racehorse who hack alone for miles – we get on very well – well we did till he had to have a tooth out and refitted and then I hit lambing and the house project kicked off in April – so I think we have had three rides since New Year…. But he is right there – here – now head and lips resting on the mobile home window giving me that  ‘Get up and let’s go somewhere!’ look or it could be ‘Where’s my hay?’

I hope Husband and lorry have a great time polishing at the show but I think on balance I have my prizes here and I very much hope this weekend I can chill out a bit and enjoy them.


‘What Would You Give Up For Your Dreams?’


Such an innocuous question – implies all kinds of things you should and shouldn’t do…

Freedom to roam?

Freedom to roam?

  1.  If you really believed in your dream you would do anything to get it… Hum but then there is the Zen thing and the Karmic thing … Will you care who you squashed when you look back? Will you find your self alone and wonder why?
  2. Then there is the whole health issue – one of my mentors right now is poorly and has been trying to ‘do it all’ – the evidence of potential burn out is right there for us looking in to see.
  3. Another mentor has been talking of getting enough sleep – which turned out to be pertinent to me – but freely admits at his stage in life he can design his own day every day – no boss, no kids etc etc.
  4.  Another talks of hating to be told to ‘slow down’ but at the same time goes on to point out that doesn’t mean at the expense of accuracy  or health…


 I have been working 17 hours + a day on my stuff and been proud to do it – except I look pale and chubby now and I am making mistakes and having to do things twice – in the end I made such a big mistake I lost the use of my series data on a piece of software and had a 24 hour day  – and then a 24 hour night to recover – when I woke up and took a look at self I realised that all things being equal giving up my physical and mental health ultimately means failure to achieve my goals of publishing the books any time soon – illness and accident can strike us all – deliberate self sabotage is stupid – but we do it all the time without even noticing.


 How are you doing?
          It seems none of us take advice or learn from the mistakes of others before we have too. – the blogging world would have fallen silent by now if that were not so – if you drive your self mad, lay waste to your body and soul and do it at the expense of those around you then what will you really achieve?

Will I take my own advice?

 Well I have stuck to a daily word limit on the typing up and a couple of days this week I didn’t do any but worked out side on the farm without beating self up for abandoning my calling…
 I haven’t had a headache this week yet or a neck like an iron bar – both of which have been constants this last few months.
 I cleaned out my area where I keep my exercise bike etc and found a carpet for my outdoor yoga.
Yoga mat, boots, old bike, rope and diving weights...

Yoga mat, boots, old bike, rope and diving weights…

I started each day with ‘putting in the big rocks first.’ In my case checking the sheep with the dogs on foot which will build up into my  running routine.

Will I stick to it?

Don’t know.

If I start dreaming of also riding my horses regularly again as well?

Desk top hprses only possible right now...

Desk top horses only right now…

 I start to tense up – this place IS a building site right now and being away from the daily Open House Surgery drama is not easy – so I have to think back to ‘put the big rocks in first’  and take action on the things I can do – the house IS still in NECESSARY surgery, and recovery time will be months – but there won’t always be so many people working at once and then I can be free to come and go.


Open House Surgery

Open House Surgery

If I stick to the things I can do now then when I get to the
point I can ride away I will enjoy it as my body won’t fall apart or the horse buckle at the knees…September is such
a nice month for riding anyway.

So this week it is ‘big rocks and baby steps while reaching for the stars’ 🙂 Or it will be seeing stars…