Not really back to writing yet – am still involved with the house project and we have only 4 weeks to Mum Move Back Day and there is a lot to be done – right now  at first glance it looks impossible – despite all the hard work – but each day it changes so I am sure we will get it done – we have time.

Husband and I JCB’d the garden and it is now hedgeless and weedless – a huge open space – it  needed re fencing any way – but it triggered the thought in me that  the house has changed beyond being recognisably My Home, my sheep flock has gone, my garden that I made out of the field when we first came here has  returned to the field – it is as if I was never here – almost.

The orchard is in full fruit mode – heavy and expectant, the apples starting to blush and the pears fill – the plums and damsons have already ‘gone over’ – we moved into  27 as the orchard sprang to life this Spring and I have watched my trees bloom and grow and the sun rise through it every morning – so different to be surrounded by trees for me. Going back to ‘the other side’ of house, garden and farm is a shock to the system – open with endless views and stark with changes I can’t stop now and that haven’t yet produced a new space to call home.

When I planted that orchard I never thought how glad I would be of it’s shelter and protection and comfort or that it might serve to remind me I have been here a while – and though we only ever scratch the surface in the time we have on earth this need to have roots is elemental to us all – to how we see ourselves and others see us. Farmer. Local. Refugee. Outcast.

If the shelter of even a familiar tree makes me feel at home in time and space – how bad must it be to see not a familiar stone or face and have no welcoming place?